For some reason I feel compelled to write this morning. I was only planning on writing one journal entry per week, but with my need to keep busy and not sit on the computer. I am going to roll with this urge.

Today as I sit here, there are a bunch of random feelings going through my head. The feeling that is standing out the most is my compulsion to achieve. It's such a frustrating urge. You really have no idea how it interconnects everything inside of myself. In order for me to feel good, I need to accomplish tasks. Be it for someone else or myself. I found out the hard way in many cases that people don't want help. They take it the wrong way, they give up right away, or they just get turned off by the amount of focus and drive I have. So who is left that will take on life with me? The answer my mind brings forward to the logical part of my brain is... Me. I am the only one who can take on such an overwhelming task of energy and drive.

In the passed, I couldn't understand why I was always doing things by myself. No one ever wanted to do anything. They just wanted to sit around, talk seldom, or go out and get drunk and do drugs. I never understood why. I didn't start drinking till my 21st birthday. I didn't take any kind of drug till a little over a half year of my 21st birthday. I understand now that if I didn't go down these bad paths. I wouldn't be on the right path today. Today, I am going to make a statement that will forever change my life. Today, I am putting my foot down to all that nonsense of drugs and alcohol. I experimented and learned enough from that life style. Tell you what, it really didn't help me all that much. I regret ever dropping my standards. All it taught me was what I already new. It's pointless for a great man like myself. I deserve the best because I aim to be the best. It's time to get back on track and focused to create an awesome life for myself and anyone who wants to follow. Usually by this time of 11:13, I have either ran, worked out, fishing, read, listened to audio tapes, visiting with someone or out just having fun without poison. I am getting back to who I was before the age of 21. When I was a young man destined for greatness. It's time to grow up. I need to get prepared.